Fashion or Function?!

Hmmmm..

why did i buy a very expensive study lamp instead of the cheap one?

both of them can light up my desk.. both of them have the same function

why did i buy a HP Compaq instead of Acer?

well.. anyone knows why not Acer.. hahaha

why did i buy a 2000 kc matress instead of the 1000 kc one?

hmmm.. i began to sleep alot.. less study.. wake up late.. no more Tahjud prayer... late for my subuh prayer.. May Allah forgive me..

why did i buy a 2000 kc quiksilver sweater instead of the cheaper one?

i don't know.. it really keeps me warm though... well i think any cheaper sweater can keep me warm too..

why did i buy an N95 8 gig instead of 3310?

hmmm.. lot of function.. lot of software can be installed.. lot of space of course.. and since its media player is faster than my old N70 and its camera is 5 mp.. i dont have to buy any ipod or camera.. 

why did i buy a Dakine bag pack instead of any unfamous brand?

Hmmm.. i can't answer this.. huhu.. i juz like it.. although it was toooooo expensive!!

why did i buy a pair of Umbro futsal shoes (which i rarely used) instead of any cheaper shoes?

hmmm.. lust.. because i had a lot of TC at that time.. huhu

Alhamdulillah Allah have given me a lot of money.. a lot of rezeki.. but the portion that i've spent to myself is a lion's share.. when i start calculating, i realized that i dont really spent well my money for sadaqah or any charity.. 

if i want to compare with Prophet's sahabah, Abdul Rahman bin Auf:

1. during expeditionary force to tabuk he gave 2000 dinar for the expedition and 2000 left for his family
2.  He donated two hundred awqiyyah of gold whereupon Umar ibn al-Khattab said to the Prophet: 
   
   "I have (now) seen Abdur-Rahman committing a wrong. He has not left anything for his family." 
   
   "Have you left anything for your family, Abdur-Rahman?" asked the Prophet. 
   
   "Yes," replied Abdur-Rahman. "I have left for them more than what I give and better." "How much?" enquired the Prophet. 
   
   "What God and His Messenger have promised of sustenance, goodness and reward," replied Abdur-Rahman.
   
   
3. When the Prophet, peace be on him, passed away, Abdur-Rahman took on the responsibility of looking after the needs of his family, the Ummahaat al-Muminin. He would go with them wherever they wanted to and he even performed Hajj with them to ensure that a ll their needs were met. This is a sign of the trust and confidence which he enjoyed on the part of the Prophet's family.
4. Abdur-Rahman's support for the Muslims and the Prophet's wives in particular was well-known. Once he sold a piece of land for forty thousand dinars and he distributed the entire amount among the Banu Zahrah (the relatives of the Prophet's mother Aminah), the poor among the Muslims and the Prophet's wives. When Aishah, may God be pleased with her, received some of this money she asked: 
   
   "Who has sent this money?" and was told it was Abdur-Rahman, whereupon she said: 
   
   "The Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: No one will feel compassion towards you after I die except the sabirin (those who are patient and resolute)."
5. One day, a loud rumbling sound was heard coming from beyond the boundaries of Madinah normally a calm and peaceful city. The rumbling sound gradually increased in volume. In addition, clouds of dust and sand were stirred up and blown in the wind. The people of Madinah soon realized that a mighty caravan was entering the city. They stood in amazement as seven hundred camels laden with goods moved into the city and crowded the streets. There was much shouting and excitement as people called to one another to come out and witness the sight and see what goods and sustenance the camel caravan had brought. 
   
   Aishah, may God be pleased with her, heard the commotion and asked: "What is this that's happening in Madinah?" and she was told: "It is the caravan of Abdur-Rahman ibn Awl which has come from Syria bearing his merchandise." 
   
   "A caravan making all this commotion?" she asked in disbelief." 
   
   "Yes, O Umm al-Muminin. There are seven hundred camels." 
   
   Aishah shook her head and gazed in the distance as if she was trying to recall some scene or utterance of the past and then she said: 
   
   "I have heard the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, say: I have seen Abdur-Rahman ibn Awl entering Paradise creeping." 
   
   Why creeping? Why should he not enter Paradise leaping and at a quick pace with the early companions of the Prophet? 
   
   Some friends of his related to Abdur-Rahman the hadith which Aishah had mentioned. He remembered that he had heard the hadith more than once from the Prophet and he hurried to the house of Aishah and said to her: "Yaa Ammah! Have you heard that from the M essenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace?" 
   
   "Yes," she replied. 
   
   "You have reminded me of a hadith which I have never forgotten," he is also reported to have said. He was so over-joyed and added: 
   
   "If I could I would certainly like to enter Paradise standing. I swear to you, yaa Ammah, that this entire caravan with all its merchandise, I will giver sabilillah." 
   
   And so he did. In a great festival of charity and righteousness, he distributed all that the massive caravan had brought to the people of Madinah and surrounding areas.

Despite all of his great sadaqah which had stunned me, he also risked his blood and his soul in Badar and Uhud.

One day food was brought to him by his son Ibrahim, with which to end a fast. He looked at the food and said: 

"Musab ibn Umayr has been killed. He was better than me. We did not find anything of his to shroud him with except what covered his head but left his legs uncovered. Then God endowed us with the (bounties of) the world... I really fear that our reward has been bestowed on us early (in this world)." He began to cry and sob and could not eat.

Subhanallah.. This story really opened my eyes.. eventhough he was promised a paradise for him, he still scared and worried that his good deeds will be payed by Allah in this world.. He cried.. until he couldn't eat to break his fast..

What if Allah had repay all of my good deeds with money in this world? what will be left for me to be judged in the hereafter? Ya Allah.. please forgive me..  

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